Com102 Observations of Verbal/Nonverbal
Incongruence Assignment
Student: Bobbi Gohr
My sister received a
call from her son�s school informing her that he had been sent to the
principal�s office for using foul language.�
When we arrived to pick him up, she asked him about the incident.� He denied any wrong doing on his part, but
as he proclaimed his innocence, he stood with his shoulders slumped, wringing
his hands, and looking down at the ground.�
It seemed clear that he was not being honest.� He later confessed everything, so the fact
that his nonverbal communication did not support what he was communicating
verbally was very telling in this instance.�
I thought to myself later that it is too bad that we do not stay as incompetent
at lying as we were at seven years of age.
A recent incident at
work required that I give a verbal warning to an employee.� Once the warning had been delivered, I
asked if the employee understood the warning and what improvement was
required.� The employee proceeded to
tell me that she understood and that she would discontinue the inappropriate
behavior.� However, as she was telling
me she was going to make the necessary change, I realized that I did not
believe her.� I noticed that her arms
were crossed, her expression very dour, and her overall body language very
closed and unreceptive.� After the
meeting was over, I thought about my initial perception of distrust in her
intention to make the necessary improvement.�
After thinking about the situation for a while, I realized that it
might only signify her uneasiness over the disciplinary action rather than an
unwillingness to change.� Of this, I am
hopeful.
On my way to lunch
yesterday, I stopped by the office of a coworker to ask if she wanted me to
get something for her while I was out.�
She indicated that she did, and started toward her purse.� Then, she quickly recanted and said she did
not want anything.� After I saw the
disappointed look on her face, I thought she must have realized she did not
have any money.� I told her I would be
happy to loan her some money.� She took
me up on the offer, and I was glad I had recognized that she really did want
lunch even though she said she did not.
During a party-planning
meeting, we were discussing preparations for our upcoming company
picnic.� One member of the group
suggested we get water bottles as a memento of the occasion for employees and
their guests.� Everyone agreed that was
an excellent choice.� However, one
member of the planning committee was shifting around in her seat, looking
down at her hands, and nervously cracking her knuckles as she confirmed that
she thought it was a good idea.�
Everyone seemed to notice her anxiety, and the person who suggested
the water bottles asked if she had some other idea.� She said she did not, but went on to remind
us that water bottles were given to employees during a recent operations
conference, so it would be a duplicate keepsake for about half of the
employees in the company.� Since she
was the only member of the party planning committee who was an operations
employee, she was the only one who realized the problem.� We were all glad she brought it to our
attention, and the team decided on Frisbees instead.�
I think the employee who
brought the water bottle issue to our attention may have been hesitant to do
so because the person who made the suggestion was a vice president and
perhaps that intimidated her.� Perhaps
it was simply that she felt uncomfortable discouraging another person�s
idea.� Whatever the reason, her
discomfort was obvious, and the incongruence between what she said and what
her nonverbal communication indicated, made the team aware that she had more
to share on the subject.� Fortunately,
the person who suggested the original idea felt comfortable asking for
additional input, and we were able to use that input to make a better
decision.
Following a recent
Volunteer Day activity, we ran out of the T-shirts we give to volunteers as a
thank-you for their hard work and effort.�
We had some extra hats, so we offered those to the two volunteers who
were without T-shirts.� One of the
volunteers smiled and happily accepted the hat.� The other volunteer thanked us and took the
hat, but was noticeably disappointed.�
She did not look me in the eyes, she was not smiling, and her
shoulders were slumped.� As she turned
to walk away, I knew I had to do something because she had worked very hard,
and good volunteers willing to give up a Saturday are hard to come by.� I told her to wait a minute, and I walked
over to a group of volunteers who were visiting amongst themselves a short
distance away.� I explained that Retta
Sue seemed very disappointed in not getting a T-shirt and asked if anyone
would be interested in trading their T-shirt for a hat.� Linda said she did not care to have a
T-shirt or hat because she already had more than enough of both, and she gave
me her T-shirt for Retta Sue.� When I
gave her the T-shirt and told her to keep the hat as a bonus, Retta Sue was
very happy and she explained to me why the T-shirt meant so much to her.� Apparently, she has a T-shirt collection
and she had been excited to add the Volunteer Day T-shirt to her collection
since we put up the posters announcing that all volunteers would receive
one.� I never would have guessed the
reason for her disappointment, but I was glad to have recognized it and ended
the day on a positive note for everyone.